Happy ever after

Hello to all of you who read those things from time to time (if there are any!)!!! I know there have been no posts for months but I needed to write something as suddenly I felt such a need to do so.

I am to be granny again - to three litters. So, keep your fingers crosssed!!!
'
Besides, today I drank some wine which I never did before, so, maybe that's why I am writing!

I found a new way to be feel that I am needed - and I need to be needed badly. I cook. Yes, I do. And I am good at it, really. My family says so. I made a soup called Krupnik in Polish and a typical, Hungarian Leczo. And they ate it like mad. And I enjoyed the fact I had a cooking talent. Tomorrow I am planning something more. I will try to keep in touch.

P.S.: I know this must have been a boring post, but I wanted to post it and I needed this badly, too. So, please forgive me.

A Farwell to Cyd Charisse

Yesterday the greatest female dancer of the cinema was lost by the world. Yesterday Cyd Charisse passed away after suffering from heart attack. She was 87.

I am not the one who is easy to be dazzled. And there are little people who impress me. My first meeting with Cyd Charisse came along when I saw her dancing in "Singin' in the Rain" (1952). Cyd appears as a dancing vamp, which seduces Gene Kelly with her dancing. The movie was to feature Debbie Reynolds in these sequences but the aspiring 20-year-old failed to satisfy Kelly, who was one of the directors (together with Stanley Donen). So, Gene relied on a trained dancer with those famous beautiful perfect legs.

What amazed me is that Cyd says nothing in the whole movie, but it is hard, or, to say more, impossible, to forget her. Especially when she dances in an apple-green dress with high-heeled shoes in a black wig. Cyd had to learn how to smoke to play this seducing dancer.

In an interview with MGM Cyd admitted that she never felt she was a good actress. So, she never even tried to develop herself into someone who aspired to become a real actress. However, Cyd received one Golden Globe nom for best actress in a musical or comedy for "Silk Stockings" (1957).

Cyd danced with the best movie dancers ever to grace the screen: Gene Kelly and Fred Astaire. She concentrated on her movie adventure while on the contract in MGM. In the end of 50s the musicals started to fail to gain the public in theaters, so Cyd smoothly walked out from the stardom, though she occasionally kept appearing.

I truly realise that Cyd was in a mature age and it is natural that she passed away. I'm honestly glad she did not have to suffer from a cancer or any other bad ailment. She just suffered a heart attack, and the doctors always claim that when it takes one's life, the person does not suffer.

Cyd, I truly believe that you are already dancing somewhere there in the skies, being the chief of the chariot of angels...

I used some pictures from one of the best pages dedicated to Cyd Charisse, Legs - A Tribute to Cyd Charisse.

Love Child - Never Meant To Be?

When I listen to the song sung by Diana Ross and The Supremes entitled "Love Child" which was a top number one in the late 60s, I often wonder if the story I am going to write about now inspired the author of the lyrics to write it? Just a little bit...

I bought some dozens of old, some out-of-print books over two years ago but somehow did not menage to read them all truly extensively. Anyway, I just have re-discovered "Uncommon Knowledge" by Judy Lewis. To those who do not know her, Judy is the love child by Loretta Young and Clark Gable.

It was a common thing for the famous actors children to write a tell-all memoirs after Christina Crawford, the adopted daughter of Joan Crawford, wrote "Mommie Dearest". The book's release was postponed until Joan's death, so she had no opportunity to tell her version. Anyway, friends and even enemies of Joan (and she had lots of both!) condemned Tina for publishing such a trash in order just to earn money on the name she did not work for. And they also summed it up with the clear statement that most of it is a fairy-tale, which was later proven. However, this did not make Bette Davis' only biological child, B.D. Hyman, stop from writing somehow simillar thing called "My Mother's Keeper". The book broke Davis' heart. She, like Crawford, excluded B.D. from her will, though she also suffered several strokes, from which she never fully recovered and died of mesmerized breast cancer some time later.

However, Judy Lewis memoirs are definetely not on the same level than the ones by Hyman or Crawford. Judy is a class apart from them, to say it delicately. The world she lived in was not an idyllic one the press knew. She truly suffered as a child, but her book is not any kind of an insult on Loretta Young, her famous mother, or her legendary father.

The story of Judith Young Lewis (as she was legally called) starts on the set of little remembered William Wellman's romance "Call of the Wild", made in 1935, starring two great stars: 22-year-old beauty Loretta Young and the greatest hearthrob of them all, 34-year-old Clark Gable. It is not an uncommon thing when the two beautiful and famous creatures fall in love on set. It is also nothing strange that they share the same bed and some time after the end of shooting the lady star discovers she is expecting. A perfect love story? Not really. She is a strict Catholic, to whom having an illegitimate child is one of the greatest sins. But also, he is a married man. His marriage to a woman who might have been his mother is a fiction. But the Hollywood's hypocrisy loves to believe that its stars are as saint as sexy so everybody think that the perfect screen lover is a happy, devoted husband.

There is a question: what should they do? In all the cases like this almost every actress does the same thing. She has an abortion, often arranged by the studio she is part of. But Loretta skips such an option. Her faith does not permit her to commit murder on a powerless little creature she is carrying - according to her faith. So, there is a whole rumor being evoluted in the next months and then decades of their lives.

Loretta kept her pregnancy a secret. There were only several people knowing she was expecting. Only those she trusted. The received great help from her mother, Gladys Blazer. Judith, later called simply Judy, is born on 6th November, 1935 and some months later her mother tells a fairy-tale to the newspapers that she is adopting two baby girls. Later she tells that the mother of the second girl changed her mind so she could not take the baby away, but she would have one baby girl and here Judy comes along.

Before I read the book by Judy I praised Loretta for being brave and not aborting, risking her career. She had nuts, I thought. But now I know I was wrong. The one who "had nuts" was Ingrid Bergman, when she disapproved any idea of an abortion. She was married to her first husband and a mother of a teen girl. And she was pregnant by another man. It meant her end in Hollywood. She could not keep it a secret. But she did not abort her child. She was named the worst of things by the senators in the US and had to move to Europe for several years. And I guess she was awarded for her being truly brave, as she came back as an Oscar winner. Loretta had no nuts.

Judy grew up believing she was no one's child. She wrote that she was a shy girl and always afraid whether her mommy won't change her mind and give her back to an orphanage. The things seemed to go quite smooth when Loretta married Tom Lewis, but it was just an illussion. When Judy's brothers appeared, she was not in the interest of her family anymore.

She also grew up in belief that there was something wrong with her. Why? Loretta's nightmare was the fact that her daughter bore a big resemblance both to her and to her father. Judy had big, standing ears of Clark Gable. She also had his look, though it was mixed with Loretta's and she looked very sweet. And she had the problems with her front teeth on the top, just as Loretta did in her childhood. And so Judy had to hide her ears. She did not know why but whenever she appeared in public, she wore bonnets. She hated them. She also wore braces on her teeth, being very young child. After some kids laughed from her big ears, Loretta insisted on "fixing" them. It was a painful surgery, but Loretta saw no other way of covering her "sin".

Yes, this is what Judy meant in her mother's life. I guess that the whole hiding of the little girl was like punishment for her sin. But did she realise that in fact it was Judy who was being punished?

When her half-brothers appeared, her stepfather prefered not to have little Judy on the family photos. To say that he did not love her it is too little, I suppose. And what surprises me most - everyone knew who Judy was. She was always in search for her identity. Her friends knew, but everyone kept it a secret. It was a public secret. William Wellman, the director of the film on which set Judy's parents met and fell in love, when asked about Judy, answered: "All I know is that Loretta got a holiday after the filming and she came back with a girl with a veeeery big ears". Adela Rogers St. Johns, when asked about the gossips of her own child with Gable, who was her friend, answered: "For God's sake, would any woman deny having a child with Clark Gable, especially if it was true?!". Well, there was at least one. Her name was Loretta Young.

Loretta was not a saint. She was know for her affairs with most of her leading men. She once said that she was in love with every leading man she had co-starred with. In 1933 her affair with Spencer Tracy was well-publisized. The press wrote that Mr. Tracy is soon to divorce his wife. But after all they both decided to split because they claimed that they were devout Catholics. So she turned to Franchot Tone, Tyrone Power, and Clark Gable, of course (to name a few). She divorced Tom Lewis almost after 30 years of marriage, though most of it was a hidden nightmare (Judy said that their parents kept their conflicts quiet behind the door). She remarried to Jean Louis, a friend's widower, after Tom's death because Loretta did not believe in divorces.

Loretta, born Gretchen Young, was the third child of Gladys Blazer by John Young. He abandoned the family early in her childhood. Her two older sisters were Polly Ann Young and Sally Blane, born Elizabeth Jane Young (she used another name in her career not to be identified with her famous siblings). Later Gladys remarried and gave birth to Georgiana, who is still alive today and a happy wife of once an MGM actor, Ricardo Montalban. They married just after knowing each other for 3 weeks (Loretta died of ovarian cancer in Montalbans' household). What is significant, all the 4 sisters bore strong resemblance to each other. Even Georgiana, who was a half-sister. Generally it was thought that Loretta was the most beautiful one, but I am not sure as in my opinion all were really great beauties and Loretta was inquestionably the most famous one (the only Oscar winner).

But what about Clark? It seems the easiest thing to call him bastard who put his pants on and his paternity ended when he left Loretta's bed. Well, it was not exactly like this. Loretta did not tell Judy that she was her natural child by Clark Gable until very late in her lifetime. But she confessed that when Clark was brought the news of her pregnancy, he kept calling and coming to the 20th Century Fox's lot (where Loretta worked). She was afraid of a scandal. She kept avoiding him and left to recluse to give birth in secret. He finally gave up and Carole Lombard appeared. The rest is history.

What if they would risk their careers? If Loretta came public with her child of Clark Gable, two great movie careers would be definetely over. And from what I concluded career was the most important thing for Loretta. Far more than her Catholic upbringing, being a wife and a mother. I guess she just added these functions because everyone expected this from her. She told Judy that Clark was the love of her life and she always felt sorry they never married. Did she blame Judy? After all, without this child then, Clark would go on to divorce his wife (which he did) and marry Loretta (but he married Carole, who was free). It is also not risky to tell that Clark also would not be so sure to leave all the stardom behind. Not because he loved his star status, but because as a man who grew up without his mother with a strict, raw father (later he had a stepmother whom he adored but she also passed away), who never recognized his profession. He had no education and, which is more basical in such cases, no faith in himself at all. He never felt he was a real actor. Frank Capra discovered his great sense of acting talent and it granted him an Oscar, but Clark had to little belief in himself to try to fight for good roles. He knew little on literature or music, because from the early age his father insisted on his son working physically. There was no a pattern of a real parent in his life.

Yes, it is strange that a group of teenagers never dared to tell Judy the truth. Everybody knew the truth, it was Hollywood's most public secret. New ears & new teeth did not change the truth, they simply could not.

Judy remembered that she was asked by her friend Mary Frances why Judy was looking like her mum if she was adopted? Mary Frances was the adopted daughter of Irene Dunne, a Hollywood star and a friend of Loretta. Mary insisted that adopted children do not look like their adoptive parents. When asked by Judy, Loretta told her that while they lived together it was natural that Judy took her ways of behaving, and so on.

But, additionally, Loretta did not tell the truth to her husband, Tom. He seemed never to ask. Later Judy's half-brother, Christopher, told her that Tom asked Clark Gable while he was at a party during the making of his second movie with Loretta, "Key to the City". Clark denied this rumors, saying that he would love to have a child and adding, "Do you think I would let anyone else bringing up my only child?". He did. Tom Lewis was bringing up his only child, and, additionally, never acted like her father. He even suspected that maybe Judy was the daughter of Loretta's older sister, Sally (all sisters were looking very alike).


I do not want to summerize what I read in Judy's book. I just think that she managed to combine the class with the truth. Anyway, I just was thinking if it was be better for Judy not be born at all? What if her mom aborted her? Well, I think, beside it all, that it is good to have her on this world, as against all odds, she became a successful and happy human being.

The Way I Should (?) Be But I Am Not (!)

I am irritated (I know, again). But what can I do when I am attacked by the things that irritate me from all the sides available? It would surely be far more easier if I decided to dye my hair platinum blonde, (overuse) solarium and have long tips on nails. But I am a declared brunette and have no intention to change it. I have been dyed once, and not blonde, but dark red, and when I got bored I waited for my natural colour to grow, ignoring my very smart sister's advice to do it the way ALL OTHER PEOPLE DO. I have never been to solarium and I like having a peach-coloured complection. I use no make up (though my smart sister says that if only my eyebrows weren't dark, I would; maybe I would). I have no colour on my nails. And I do not know who Miley Cyrus is. Is it a sin? Well, I do not know and that is all! I know no songs of Doda or something/anything/someone/anyone like this. So what? I'm bored that nowadays everybody expects you to be as they want you to be just because you belong to this and not any other age group...

Well, that is all for now. From my OH, MEN observations, I recently watched "Get Carter" (1971) again and I'm fascinated by Michael Caine, though it is nothing new. I just adore his English distinguished manner of being a bastard. Favourite scene (SPOILER!): after Carter seduces the landlady of the guest house he is staying in he is "visited" by his enemy's "soldiers", and being naked he tells them to get out with a big, long gun, gettiwng with them outside. While going out of the bedroom, one of them tells him "Come on, Jack, we know you won't use it", while the second adds "He meant the gun" (here is the moment when I burst with a laughter of a shy inmate). Carter gets out, still with a gun only, and the old lady neighbour sees him, almost fainting and running to her house.


So long, my folks!

Untitled

I have no idea for a post, as well as for the title of it, so it will be entitled as those files we create in English programmes are - UNTITLED.

My stomach pains a lot, and it has been over three weeks after I lost 75% of my stomach and over one metre of my intestine. Whenever on tv I see a commercial of weight reducing pills, there is a burst of a bitter laughter.

I'm wondering how your faces are looking now. You are asking yourself: "What the hell has she done to herself? Losing 3/4 of the stomach?!". Yes, I underwent a surgery that will help me reduce my weight. It already does - I'm minus 13 kg by now. I know that we all dream of reducing so much in 3 weeks. I would also admire this being you. But you can not know how it is when you do not remember when you last felt no sick moments... Yes, vomiting, diarrhoea, etc. How sweet... Thank God I can sleep not only on my back now... Keep your fingers crossed, maybe I will come back to the living circle...

The Cries and Whispers of an Old Broad...

Hello you all there! I'm writing you because there is a new event, very (un)important. Well, yesterday I turned 20. So I'm not a teenager anymore. And I'm depressed. Yes, most of the time I am depressed, but now I am depressed because I have serious reasons. This is not because I feel middle-aged, no. Not yet. I even consider being middle-aged much more attractive than being a dump life starlet. I'm depressed because my stomach pains a lot. I underwent a surgery almost three weeks ago. The scarf on the center og the belly is nothing (almost). But I almost do not eat and do not drink. When I try, I visit the toilet in not very happy circumstances. So, please excuse me I spend little time with you (though I know you do not regret!). The positive aspect is that in 2 weeks I lost 10 kg. So, maybe there is a sense in it.

Besides, I'm living a fascination. A fascination caused by this bastard Errol Flynn. I will use my gift money to buy somne bios of his. I will surely buy the memoirs of his second wife, Nora Eddington, because I read she describes how she lost her virginity with him while drunk and it was almost a rape. Of course, as you can imagine, I will put myself in her role (JOKE). Well, girls, do not be hypocrytes - EVERY girl dreams that a dashing handsome male would treat her this way in bed at least once in her lifetime, and that is a FACT! I think Errol knew this. That's why he had those rape cases and women kept on battling over which one would get laid by him... Something natural.

Well, the fascination came from watching "Adventures of Don Juan" (1948). He is almost 40 there, though this age is appealing to me. He looks not at his best, because he was a drunk and drug addict. But I can't help it... Sorry. The fascination came.

So, Flynn is In...

The Crazy Is Back!!!

Have you missed me? I know you did not but I'm back...

Almost a month without me and I'm still almost unconcious. I'm still recovering after the surgery... And I'm thinner (minus 8 kg). More to come...

A Note

I'm sorry I wrote nothing at all for some couple of days (honestly, I do not remember when exactly I wrote, I guess it was two, three days ago; I know - I could have checked it, but I'm too lazy), but I truly do not know what to write. This note is only for those very few ones who tend to visit this poor blog (THANK YOUUUU!!!!!!!). Anyway, I'm preparing for a surgery and I just hope to have it as soon as possible because it is a thing I have been waiting for since my lifetime began, so please keep your fingers crossed that I would have this chance to experience it, this new REAL life!!!

And The Oscar Went To... Part One, Best Leading Actresses From The Ver Beginning to 40s

Those of you who know me at least a little bit know well that this is the topic I always adored bing discussed. So, here is my analysis, and wait for more!

The very first and still one of the youngerst winners in her category was Janet Gaynor. She always seemed somehow like a child to me, a fragile one. But she gave some powerful performances in the mid 20s and she gained much respect for it, beginning with an Oscar. I remember watching a video when she was given her tropheum. A tiny girl with a nice smile. Maybe not marevlously beautiful, but she was pretty ok for those "naive parts". It's quite hard to me to discuss it: did she was the one who should have won the Oscar? Anyway, she did. Personally I'm still thinking of Gloria Swanson - undoubtedly better, superb actress who was skipped via the whole Oscar history while she was alive, and she lived a little bit, believe me. ;) She deserved an Oscar for her talkie, "Sunset Boulvard", but wasn't Judy Holliday worth it as well? Well, not to talk about it now, as we are in 20s!

I'm much more convinced that the Oscar given year later to Mary Pickford was not because she was better than other nominees. Everyone who knows Hollywood's history knows as well that there was no any such powerful lady there as Mary Pickford in the 20s. And so she won. I would give this award this year to Jeanne Eagels. She died just weeks after completing "The Letter", but she was such a personality!

There is also a question why Greta Garbo was twice skipped in 1930, being nominated for "Romance", as well as for "Anna Christie". Norma Shearer won, and it is true that she developed into somehow a very good actress, though never great, as with work only, and little talent, it was just impossible. In contrary, Garbo had to be content with her honorary statuette, given years after she retired from screen forever.

There was always much to discuss after Claudette Colbert took home her Oscar for "It Happened One Night". No one ever exactly critisized the Academy for giving her to award, but it was Bette Davis who felt that she deserved the Oscar for her part of Mildred Rogers in "Of Human Bondage" ever before she played it. LOL But, indeed, she was VERY good in the part. But I personally always felt that Myrna Loy should have received at least a nom for Nora Charles in "The Thin Man". She never did for any part, and some time before she passed away as an aged lady, she was given a prize of consolation as a honorary award. A shameful thing, as Myrna had a natural talent, for comedy, as well as for dramatic parts.

One year later Bette Davis was still feeling hurt and so the Academy gave her the Oscar for "Dangerous". It was not ok for her, because she always felt she should have won for Mildred, as well as in her opinion it was Kate Hepburn who should have won in 1935 for "Alice Adams", as she was simply the best (very rare statement for Bette, who always considered herself the one and only BEST). I think that that year the nominees were very interesting portrayals, including Miriam Hopkins, Elisabeth Bergner, and Merle Oberon with their only adnotations from the Academy in their whole career. Bergner had little chance for winning, as "Escape Me Never" was a British movie, but she was a star, and years later she was said to be the basic person for creating the Margo Channing part.

Luise Rainer was the Jew star that triumphed in Hollywood by winning two Oscars year by year. She was not a beauty, and she ended her career very shortly after, though it made her a legend forever, also because she is still alive at the tender age of 98! Anyway, I ALWAYS felt it should have been Carole Lombard who should take the Oscar. She was great as Irene Bullock in "My Man Godfrey", with Bill Powell as the elegant butler. Simply great! She had this electric comedy skill I always admired. She was a great actress, and it is a shame she was never given what she deserved.

Rainer was awarded her second Academy Award for her part in "The Good Earth", a movie which I personally consider a mediocre and, besides, the performance was much a make-up department work, I think. There was some competition she had, like Greta Garbo as "Camille", or Barbara Stanwyck with her first nom, for "Stella Douglas". Ironically, the same year Janet Gaynor, the winner fo the very first Oscar, was nominated for her portrayal in "A Star Is Born", loosely based on... Barbara Stanwyck story. Quite odd, but that is how life goes on, isn't it?

I never understood what the Academy saw in Bette Davis' performance in "Jezebel". While being nominated 11 times, Bette gave much award-worthy portrayal in each of all other movies she was nominated for. I think she should have been awarded for "Now, Voyager", rather than this. I'm just wondering how Margaret Sullavan did with "Three Comrades", or Norma Shearer for "Marie Antoinette".

As for me, Vivien Leigh will stay world's best actress ever known. She showed she was a master in acting with her powerful portrayal of Scarlett O'Hara. She was great at her drama moments, as well as those comedy ones. She deserved the Oscar better than anyone. She should have been given every award possible for her work. She had a very big comptetition. Bette Davis was good in "Dark Victory", and Greta Garbo showed her comedy skills with "Ninotchka", also Greer Garson was subtelle and delicate as Mrs. Chips. Not to forget Irene Dunne in "Love Affair".

And the last issue is Ginger Rogers' winning in the great competition in 1940. I always felt there was something Ginger lacked, I do not know what, maybe it is a combination of beauty and talent? She was a very good dancer, making a great couple with unforgettable Fred Astaire. She later established herself as a dramatic actress, but was it worth an Oscar? It was her only nomination and the only win. I always felt Joan Fontaine should have won for "Rebecca", she was very good as I de Winter, and I feel that the Oscar she was given one year later was a kind of reward, a consolation prize, like this of Bette Davis in 1935 for "Dangerous".

More to come...

The Time Of Choice Comes Along...

I'm still torn between many thoughts. I just have to decide on my future, though I still insist on the thesis there is no any for me. But, anyway, as I am still on this world, I must get along with all these things and people here. So I decided to study. I chose English. I hope to become a translator, but most preferably I'd like to widen my knowledge on the culture of the English-speaking countries, especially Great Britain, which I prefer to the USA. Of course this is not what I dreamt of for years. But I know I'm a big coward and I would not dare even to try to succeed in what I would love to, so never mind.

Yes, this is the end of the note. Surprised? Most probably you are, because I tend to write those nonsenses of mine quite twice longer. But do not make yourself happy - the next one will surely bring lots of words and some superb smart ideas of mine... LOL

Unforgettable Audrey

Audrey Hepburn will forever stay an icon for the whole world, a symbol of elegance combined with dignity, delicacy, intelligence, sweetness and true wellness. This is how I remember Audrey and how I will associate her persona.

She succeeded as an actress and model, though she always dreamt of a career of ballerina. She never became one, being too tall. She experienced many hard times during her lifetime. Her war memoirs, when she thought so bravely to live through war trauma, is somehow like Anne Frank's experiences. I will never forget the story about Audrey when she was a little girl who was a messenger in the conspiracy and while on her little mission she met Nazi officers. She used her charm and took some field flowers to give it to them, showing her sincere smile. And they did not suspect what she was carrying, letting her go with her message.

Audrey, as the actress I consider the greatest one, Vivien Leigh, won an Oscar for her debut in an American movie. Her performance in "Roman Holiday" may seem not the greatest one from all those she gave. But she showed unique charm there and I guess this was it. America was charmed by her grace, by her sincerity, her loveliness. She was forever lovely, though she never used it too much, it was never that she tended to be oversweet.

I remember seeing "Nun's Story" (1959) some years ago, while still in my very early teens. And I remember clearly that Audrey was great there, as an actress. The way she transformes from a girl to a woman, and then, in the end, when she leaves the convent, her hair gray. She showed she was mature. And I guess this was real ACTING. She should have won an Oscar for THIS. Because this surely was great.

I recently have Audrey as Holly Gollithly on my desktop. She looks wonderful and I think that her image from "Breakfast at Tiffany's" is the thing she would be forever associated with. And she looks great there, simply gorgeous, and remember she played there being some months after giving birth to her first son!

Audrey married twice and I guess she was never happy in any of those unions. Mel Ferrer, her first husband, always felt and knew he was overshadowed by her talent and screen persona. While he outlived her (he is still alive, over 90 now), he never achieved stardom. The appeared together in "War and Peace", where Audrey gave an excellent, BAFTA-nominated graceful portrayal of Natasha, and also she played by the side of still excellent and handsome Henry Fonda. Ferrer stayed quite unnoticed. Also, he directed her in "Green Mansions" (1959) with Anthony Perkins, but the movie itself was a failure, though it never harmed Audrey star status.

She ended her movie career to go for Italy after their divorce, where she met a younger doctor, Andrea Dotti. He was to become her second husband, though his infidelities proved to be fatal for the marriage, as well as the fact that they could not get along, maybe due to age difference. They had one son.

Audrey found the best companion in few years younger Rob Wolders, Merle Oberon's widower. He was her dearest friend and love-interest, I guess she always dreamt of somebody like him. He never wanted to participate in her will after she died from colon cancer, and never wanted recognation from press, no publicity. He was the one to give and receive love. A wonderful thing we all are looking for, don't we?

Audrey was always differeing from Hollywood world. While she will be forever associated with it as its part, she in fact was not one. She was never involved in any sort of scandal. She did not seduce married leading men of hers. She did not have unwanted pregnancies ended with abortions. She never acted like a sweetheart being a false pretty face. She was REAL. And she is a symbol to me, more than anybody else, how we should live. To give, not to take. And she proved that giving might be receiving as well. I feel sorry knowing she passed away too soon. She was the essence of dignity, elegance and sincerity. Everything that was and still is GOOD.

The Bennett Sisters

I guess that all of you who stopped by in here are quite concious of the fact I am a classic cinema lover. Once on my Polish blog FilmWeb I started some topics on the movie people that influenced and still influence me. Later I deleted all of these notes, but I guess that here it would look lovelier to have it, so I'm starting.

I would like to discuss the topic of siblings in movie industry. The most famous classic movie era female siblings are undoubtedly Olivia de Havilland and her younger sister, Joan Fontaine. They are truly famous even until now, as they are still the only siblings who won Oscars as best leading actresses. Until today! But as a family union, I must say I prefer another one, truly. Those siblings are Constance Bennett and Joan Bennett.

Constance is the older one. I always considered her the very sophisticated lady. I think she had a real poise and beauty, and a real class. The way she looked, acted, the clothes she wore, the hairsyle she had - all made her look like a real dame. I guess she was one.

As every real movie star, Constance's life was often connected with some scandals. She married several times and four of those unions ended in divorce. One of her liasons, this with famous latin lover Gilbert Roland, was quite forced to legalize because of the famous article "Unamrried wives and husbands". She lived with Roland like his wife, but when it became highlited by public attention, they became bride and groom. The union produced two daughters but it lasted only 5 years.

Constance was a star in every meaning of this word during her lifetime. She was the leading lady of many famous stars, including Clark Gable. But, as for today, she is little remembred, especially here, in Poland. It is a great pitty. Constance passed away while still being not old (60 years old, just after completeing "Madame X" as Lana Turner's mother-in-law). She had a total number of five husbands, and she also had a natural son born after she divorced her husband. She claimed she adopted the baby, because she did not want her ex to participate in any rights to the boy. Clever she was, she had to make the secret come true when she was divorcing another husband, who wanted to have rights for the little one. She had to tell how it was in the court.

Joan Bennett was on the other hand close to become a legend in every meaning of this word, only if Vivien Leigh did not appear to steal the Scarlett O'Hara part with her intense master portrayal. There are still some footage prints of screen tests for Scarlett, and Melanie as well, including those with Joan (there were also some with Lana Turner, 17 years old only during the time, also Jean Arthur and Paulette Goddard). Joan became a star after some appearances in early talkies though she was quite experienced as she graced the screen with her unusual beauty and talent some time ago before the sound era.

She started as an ingenue, a blonde one. In the 40s she transformed into a femme fatale, appearing with success as brunette. In 50s she was quite forced to become a simple housewife on screen, and, rather more regullary, on television, which was taking its first steps, just as a toddler who was once to be a giant.

The younger sister Bennett had an intense private life, as well as her older sister. She became mother for the first time 8 days before her 18th birthday, being married at the age of 16. The union lasted barely a part of a short lifetime, and as a mother who brings up a baby alone, she had to work, and she had many opportunities to do so, as she succeeded with a natural, birginial image. She played Amy opposite Katherine Hepburn and Frances Dee in "Little Women" (1933), directed by the master George Cukor. Her career was severed much by the incident in which her husband shot her agent and lover as well. As there was a lot of publicity surrounding the case, the image of then 40-year-old Joan suffered quite a lot and one of her last most memorable roles is the one of Ellie Banks in "Father of the Bride" (1950) and "Father's Little Dividend", made one year later. Both were Spencer Tracy's vehicle, giving him best lines and moments on-screen, though Joan, portraying his wife and the mother of Elizabeth Taylor as well, managed to show her high sense of comedy and talent combined with grace and charm. She later transferred her talents to the television.

The Bennett sister were both considered extremely beautiful women and very good actresses of their era, though their screen personas never found such praise as the sisters mentioned in the beginning. Maybe also because the rivalry between them was not so intense as in de Havilland's and Fontaine's case. Maybe their relationship was not intensly close, but they managed to stay in friendly and warm terms until Constance passed away in 1965.

The French Poise

If my secret-now-becoming-public dream of becoming an actress would ever come true, I'd love to play in French movies. I have never been to this country, though I just have my own receipt of this spectacular aura. Some time ago I read in Marlene Dietrich's memoirs the famous maxima: "You can't die before you see Paris". Maybe I will succeed and live to see it?

Please do not think of me as about a poor teenager who is looking at lovely MTV videoclips dreaming about some Photoshop-modeled idols!!! I do use Photoshop though I definetely do not watch MTV, despite the fact I can watch it straightly in my room and in my bed! I always had a dream to succeed on a British stage. I wondered if I ever would be able to master the British accent as well as possible to play a part on stage. But, I would also like to make some movies there, also in telvision, because I adore British TV series, I mean not the long ones, but the movies made especially for TV and also mini-series, with up to 4 episodes. Have you watched the new Miss Marple series with Geraldine McEwan? I love it! Tomorrow I'm going to see next episode and simply can't wait!

As for France, I'd love to master the language so it would be possible to enter any academy, and so on. During last months I read the debut book of Anna Gavalda entitled "I Wish Someone Were Waiting for Me Somewhere" (originally, "Je voudrais que quelqu'un m'attende quelque part"). I decided I want to make it into a movie and I want to make in France. Keep your fingers crossed!

By the way, I think that French women are simply the most sensual women in the world. I mean it. Look at Isabelle Adjani. She was about 40 when playing Queen Margot but she played a woman/girl and she was convincing. Not because she was looking veeeeery young. It was because she had IT. And look at Emmanuelle Beart. She is petite. She has freckles. But is like chameleon. She can easily switch from whore to saint, from saint to whore. Look at Marion Cotillard. She played a murderess in "Un long dimanche de fiances", but she could easily go on and kill with her eyes only.

Yes, they were born with IT. But they were brought up in magic. Maybe I will be able to contract this magic once I'm older and luckier.

The Trends of Our Lives

I often smile to myself (oh, sounds like schizophrenia!!!) while hearing all those people who are soooo disgusted with trends. But there are trends we cultivate ourselves, aren't they? It's a trend to say all good about dead people. Once they are away we tend to write: "Oh, she was a great writer" while we hardly know any book of the person mentioned, and so on. Men tend to send all women to the kitchen with no right to turn her back even to go pissing. On contrast women call men chauvinist, but can't wait to get some fucking from one. We often say that fast foods are bad, bad, BAD! But McDonald's would not last for so long if no one eats there! Everyone says that women should have some curves, not to be too slim. The truth is that the women who tell so are on and on on a diet and men who claim the same would not even look at a curvy girl.

I found the movie scene in "Blow-Up" with David Hemmings taking pictures of the legendar model Veruschka truly electryfing. I discovered a discussion on a message board on FilmWeb, with all the people shocked with Veruschka being skinny as she was looking like an anorexia sick girl. I looked at her pictures and for some time thought - "Indeed, she does not looks ok". But now I change my mind - she looks great! What the hell we have to tell about anybody's private things? She wants to look like a bag of bones covered with skin - let her go ahead! Yes, teens are looking - so what???!!! If "Bravo" is still available in quiosque, why should we forbide being skinny? At least we should have the mind of our own to call ourselves HOMO SAPIENS!!!

"Rhett Butler's People"

It's a shame on me that as a true, faithful lover of "Gone With The Wind" (the book and the movie, as well) I did not know that there something new I should take notice of immediately when it came out to appear in public!

"Rhett Butler's People" is a novel fully authorized by the Margaret Mitchell estate. The book emphasizes on Rhett Butler rather than Scarlett O'Hara. Maybe because the first attempt to bring the sequel to life (Alexandra Ripley wrote it in the early 90s) was not worth the original. Maybe also because it was entitled "Scarlett" and it was mostly about the leading female character. From the book by Mitchell we know almost all on Scarlett, but there is so much to to find the anwers on Rhett. He was always the kind of man I'd love to have in my life. A tough lover, as in the title of Etta James' song. A man who would fight for you but who would also eagerly kick you in the ass and made you begging for more... Though lover, yeah, yeah, yeah, tough lover, ouuuuh...

This new book is another attempt to make appear an original-worthy GWTW sequel. I truly count on Polish publishers so they would publish it in Poland in our language, though I must say that I'm not sure if I want be disappointed. I will try to wait a little bit, but I'm not the first patient one in here, so it's quite likely I will purchise the one in the original language.

Want to learn more? Click here.

Kay Francis - she could have not waited to be forgotten

It's somehow interesting, frustrating and heartbreaking at the same time to read a story like this from Kay Francis. The actress who was Warner's box-office no. 1 in early 30s ended her career most likely hating the way of life she chose. But on the other hand I doubt she would change this choice, either.

I'm definetely not going to tell you about her life. Read it yourself by clicking here. The cruelty she experienced from people she made existing (after all, Mr. Warner would not have his comfortable office without his profitable stars) is unquestionably disgusting, but after you read it, please tell me - did it surprise you?

I often say I prefer animals, essentially cats, to people. And here you will find an answer why.

I'm waiting for TCM to give us some piece of Miss Francis work. She made lots of it, unfortunately most of it a complete trash, though it would be lovely to stare at those beautiful blue eyes, with sadness written in them and with this aura of black short-cut hair. Would you believe she was petite? Indeed, she was! Warners did everything to save money so after the days of Kay were gone, and they had their new girls, including Canadian-born Alexis Smith, they gave them Francis' clothes, only making them fit better on taller Alexis.

And for the end - why is this entry entitled like this? Well, it's a quote from Kay. After you read the note I recommend you will know why...

The very beginning

From there on I decided to start writing a blog. I decided on this method in order to keep some of you interested updated with my ideas and plans. This note won't be the longest one as I have little time now and it is just a beginning.

I decided to lead this blog in English only because I guess it is a very good way to exercise my English. Enjoy this blog, I'll try to update it soon.