The Cries and Whispers of an Old Broad...

Hello you all there! I'm writing you because there is a new event, very (un)important. Well, yesterday I turned 20. So I'm not a teenager anymore. And I'm depressed. Yes, most of the time I am depressed, but now I am depressed because I have serious reasons. This is not because I feel middle-aged, no. Not yet. I even consider being middle-aged much more attractive than being a dump life starlet. I'm depressed because my stomach pains a lot. I underwent a surgery almost three weeks ago. The scarf on the center og the belly is nothing (almost). But I almost do not eat and do not drink. When I try, I visit the toilet in not very happy circumstances. So, please excuse me I spend little time with you (though I know you do not regret!). The positive aspect is that in 2 weeks I lost 10 kg. So, maybe there is a sense in it.

Besides, I'm living a fascination. A fascination caused by this bastard Errol Flynn. I will use my gift money to buy somne bios of his. I will surely buy the memoirs of his second wife, Nora Eddington, because I read she describes how she lost her virginity with him while drunk and it was almost a rape. Of course, as you can imagine, I will put myself in her role (JOKE). Well, girls, do not be hypocrytes - EVERY girl dreams that a dashing handsome male would treat her this way in bed at least once in her lifetime, and that is a FACT! I think Errol knew this. That's why he had those rape cases and women kept on battling over which one would get laid by him... Something natural.

Well, the fascination came from watching "Adventures of Don Juan" (1948). He is almost 40 there, though this age is appealing to me. He looks not at his best, because he was a drunk and drug addict. But I can't help it... Sorry. The fascination came.

So, Flynn is In...

The Crazy Is Back!!!

Have you missed me? I know you did not but I'm back...

Almost a month without me and I'm still almost unconcious. I'm still recovering after the surgery... And I'm thinner (minus 8 kg). More to come...

A Note

I'm sorry I wrote nothing at all for some couple of days (honestly, I do not remember when exactly I wrote, I guess it was two, three days ago; I know - I could have checked it, but I'm too lazy), but I truly do not know what to write. This note is only for those very few ones who tend to visit this poor blog (THANK YOUUUU!!!!!!!). Anyway, I'm preparing for a surgery and I just hope to have it as soon as possible because it is a thing I have been waiting for since my lifetime began, so please keep your fingers crossed that I would have this chance to experience it, this new REAL life!!!

And The Oscar Went To... Part One, Best Leading Actresses From The Ver Beginning to 40s

Those of you who know me at least a little bit know well that this is the topic I always adored bing discussed. So, here is my analysis, and wait for more!

The very first and still one of the youngerst winners in her category was Janet Gaynor. She always seemed somehow like a child to me, a fragile one. But she gave some powerful performances in the mid 20s and she gained much respect for it, beginning with an Oscar. I remember watching a video when she was given her tropheum. A tiny girl with a nice smile. Maybe not marevlously beautiful, but she was pretty ok for those "naive parts". It's quite hard to me to discuss it: did she was the one who should have won the Oscar? Anyway, she did. Personally I'm still thinking of Gloria Swanson - undoubtedly better, superb actress who was skipped via the whole Oscar history while she was alive, and she lived a little bit, believe me. ;) She deserved an Oscar for her talkie, "Sunset Boulvard", but wasn't Judy Holliday worth it as well? Well, not to talk about it now, as we are in 20s!

I'm much more convinced that the Oscar given year later to Mary Pickford was not because she was better than other nominees. Everyone who knows Hollywood's history knows as well that there was no any such powerful lady there as Mary Pickford in the 20s. And so she won. I would give this award this year to Jeanne Eagels. She died just weeks after completing "The Letter", but she was such a personality!

There is also a question why Greta Garbo was twice skipped in 1930, being nominated for "Romance", as well as for "Anna Christie". Norma Shearer won, and it is true that she developed into somehow a very good actress, though never great, as with work only, and little talent, it was just impossible. In contrary, Garbo had to be content with her honorary statuette, given years after she retired from screen forever.

There was always much to discuss after Claudette Colbert took home her Oscar for "It Happened One Night". No one ever exactly critisized the Academy for giving her to award, but it was Bette Davis who felt that she deserved the Oscar for her part of Mildred Rogers in "Of Human Bondage" ever before she played it. LOL But, indeed, she was VERY good in the part. But I personally always felt that Myrna Loy should have received at least a nom for Nora Charles in "The Thin Man". She never did for any part, and some time before she passed away as an aged lady, she was given a prize of consolation as a honorary award. A shameful thing, as Myrna had a natural talent, for comedy, as well as for dramatic parts.

One year later Bette Davis was still feeling hurt and so the Academy gave her the Oscar for "Dangerous". It was not ok for her, because she always felt she should have won for Mildred, as well as in her opinion it was Kate Hepburn who should have won in 1935 for "Alice Adams", as she was simply the best (very rare statement for Bette, who always considered herself the one and only BEST). I think that that year the nominees were very interesting portrayals, including Miriam Hopkins, Elisabeth Bergner, and Merle Oberon with their only adnotations from the Academy in their whole career. Bergner had little chance for winning, as "Escape Me Never" was a British movie, but she was a star, and years later she was said to be the basic person for creating the Margo Channing part.

Luise Rainer was the Jew star that triumphed in Hollywood by winning two Oscars year by year. She was not a beauty, and she ended her career very shortly after, though it made her a legend forever, also because she is still alive at the tender age of 98! Anyway, I ALWAYS felt it should have been Carole Lombard who should take the Oscar. She was great as Irene Bullock in "My Man Godfrey", with Bill Powell as the elegant butler. Simply great! She had this electric comedy skill I always admired. She was a great actress, and it is a shame she was never given what she deserved.

Rainer was awarded her second Academy Award for her part in "The Good Earth", a movie which I personally consider a mediocre and, besides, the performance was much a make-up department work, I think. There was some competition she had, like Greta Garbo as "Camille", or Barbara Stanwyck with her first nom, for "Stella Douglas". Ironically, the same year Janet Gaynor, the winner fo the very first Oscar, was nominated for her portrayal in "A Star Is Born", loosely based on... Barbara Stanwyck story. Quite odd, but that is how life goes on, isn't it?

I never understood what the Academy saw in Bette Davis' performance in "Jezebel". While being nominated 11 times, Bette gave much award-worthy portrayal in each of all other movies she was nominated for. I think she should have been awarded for "Now, Voyager", rather than this. I'm just wondering how Margaret Sullavan did with "Three Comrades", or Norma Shearer for "Marie Antoinette".

As for me, Vivien Leigh will stay world's best actress ever known. She showed she was a master in acting with her powerful portrayal of Scarlett O'Hara. She was great at her drama moments, as well as those comedy ones. She deserved the Oscar better than anyone. She should have been given every award possible for her work. She had a very big comptetition. Bette Davis was good in "Dark Victory", and Greta Garbo showed her comedy skills with "Ninotchka", also Greer Garson was subtelle and delicate as Mrs. Chips. Not to forget Irene Dunne in "Love Affair".

And the last issue is Ginger Rogers' winning in the great competition in 1940. I always felt there was something Ginger lacked, I do not know what, maybe it is a combination of beauty and talent? She was a very good dancer, making a great couple with unforgettable Fred Astaire. She later established herself as a dramatic actress, but was it worth an Oscar? It was her only nomination and the only win. I always felt Joan Fontaine should have won for "Rebecca", she was very good as I de Winter, and I feel that the Oscar she was given one year later was a kind of reward, a consolation prize, like this of Bette Davis in 1935 for "Dangerous".

More to come...

The Time Of Choice Comes Along...

I'm still torn between many thoughts. I just have to decide on my future, though I still insist on the thesis there is no any for me. But, anyway, as I am still on this world, I must get along with all these things and people here. So I decided to study. I chose English. I hope to become a translator, but most preferably I'd like to widen my knowledge on the culture of the English-speaking countries, especially Great Britain, which I prefer to the USA. Of course this is not what I dreamt of for years. But I know I'm a big coward and I would not dare even to try to succeed in what I would love to, so never mind.

Yes, this is the end of the note. Surprised? Most probably you are, because I tend to write those nonsenses of mine quite twice longer. But do not make yourself happy - the next one will surely bring lots of words and some superb smart ideas of mine... LOL

Unforgettable Audrey

Audrey Hepburn will forever stay an icon for the whole world, a symbol of elegance combined with dignity, delicacy, intelligence, sweetness and true wellness. This is how I remember Audrey and how I will associate her persona.

She succeeded as an actress and model, though she always dreamt of a career of ballerina. She never became one, being too tall. She experienced many hard times during her lifetime. Her war memoirs, when she thought so bravely to live through war trauma, is somehow like Anne Frank's experiences. I will never forget the story about Audrey when she was a little girl who was a messenger in the conspiracy and while on her little mission she met Nazi officers. She used her charm and took some field flowers to give it to them, showing her sincere smile. And they did not suspect what she was carrying, letting her go with her message.

Audrey, as the actress I consider the greatest one, Vivien Leigh, won an Oscar for her debut in an American movie. Her performance in "Roman Holiday" may seem not the greatest one from all those she gave. But she showed unique charm there and I guess this was it. America was charmed by her grace, by her sincerity, her loveliness. She was forever lovely, though she never used it too much, it was never that she tended to be oversweet.

I remember seeing "Nun's Story" (1959) some years ago, while still in my very early teens. And I remember clearly that Audrey was great there, as an actress. The way she transformes from a girl to a woman, and then, in the end, when she leaves the convent, her hair gray. She showed she was mature. And I guess this was real ACTING. She should have won an Oscar for THIS. Because this surely was great.

I recently have Audrey as Holly Gollithly on my desktop. She looks wonderful and I think that her image from "Breakfast at Tiffany's" is the thing she would be forever associated with. And she looks great there, simply gorgeous, and remember she played there being some months after giving birth to her first son!

Audrey married twice and I guess she was never happy in any of those unions. Mel Ferrer, her first husband, always felt and knew he was overshadowed by her talent and screen persona. While he outlived her (he is still alive, over 90 now), he never achieved stardom. The appeared together in "War and Peace", where Audrey gave an excellent, BAFTA-nominated graceful portrayal of Natasha, and also she played by the side of still excellent and handsome Henry Fonda. Ferrer stayed quite unnoticed. Also, he directed her in "Green Mansions" (1959) with Anthony Perkins, but the movie itself was a failure, though it never harmed Audrey star status.

She ended her movie career to go for Italy after their divorce, where she met a younger doctor, Andrea Dotti. He was to become her second husband, though his infidelities proved to be fatal for the marriage, as well as the fact that they could not get along, maybe due to age difference. They had one son.

Audrey found the best companion in few years younger Rob Wolders, Merle Oberon's widower. He was her dearest friend and love-interest, I guess she always dreamt of somebody like him. He never wanted to participate in her will after she died from colon cancer, and never wanted recognation from press, no publicity. He was the one to give and receive love. A wonderful thing we all are looking for, don't we?

Audrey was always differeing from Hollywood world. While she will be forever associated with it as its part, she in fact was not one. She was never involved in any sort of scandal. She did not seduce married leading men of hers. She did not have unwanted pregnancies ended with abortions. She never acted like a sweetheart being a false pretty face. She was REAL. And she is a symbol to me, more than anybody else, how we should live. To give, not to take. And she proved that giving might be receiving as well. I feel sorry knowing she passed away too soon. She was the essence of dignity, elegance and sincerity. Everything that was and still is GOOD.